I need to Just. Stop. Thinking.
As I devour my second 120-calorie pack
of Skinny Cow Dreamy Clusters (and yes, more packs will inevitably follow
because there is nothing honorable about the way I choose to eat 120-calorie
packs of anything) my mind starts thinking about being in that
group again… the SINGLE’s group.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. And chew. To self: Maybe being single won’t be terribly bad?!
To self: Maybe it will be terribly cool?!
The only thing to do, here, is to make a pro's and con's list because I'm a list-lover. It's always helpful to have things in writing; it makes them tangible. Seeing, reading, touching, marking, assessing, re-assessing, catching crumbs...
Here it is, the pros and cons of being unattached, solo, free. Un. Accompanied.
PROS
1. I can focus on my career – no more wasting talent
2. I don’t have to share things I don’t want to share – M&Ms, wine, the covers
3. I can flirt freely
4. I am now the undisputed owner of my own money and can spend it as I wish – Chunky. Peanut Butter.
5. No more continuous phone calls on my cell phone
6. Eating inconsiderate food combinations without judgment
7. I can wear all the odd fashions I want
8. I can use the bathroom… with the door open
9. No more emotional rollercoasters – never waking up thinking, Where Is My Boyfriend?
10. DiGiorno pizza all to myself (hey, they may look big, but during certain times of the month, those pizzas really only feed 1)
11. The bed will always be made correctly
12. I’ll actually get shit done on the weekends
13. I can have that tantrum over a stubbed toe if I want
14. No more Simpson’s
15. There will always be an abundance of ice cream in the freezer
16. No more WOLF ART, Native American sculptures, western anything… unless they’re vintage cowboy boots or salsa
17. Choices are all mine – lobster tail or cannoli?
18. Happiness is now my own creation
19. No more having to harness my crazy – I can be absurd all I want
20. Self reliance
CONS
1.
No more constant sex
(my life is over)
No comments:
Post a Comment