Dissecting just got ugly

I’m going to save a life today. I’m leaving it in the hands of the universe to direct me on how best to do this. But in the meantime, while I’m waiting, I’ll tell you a story.

I woke up this morning feeling sweaty and panicked. Last night, I dreamt I was lost. I couldn’t find my way back to my room. I think I was in college and on my way to class when I realized I left my books in my room… in the dorm?! The hallways all looked alike – which, by the way, was set up like a mall – and the desperate race against a ticking clock triggered a delusional “I’m losing” feeling; I needed to get what I needed and to get back to where I needed to be before I was out of time. All of this is quite bizarre. You see, I’ve never lived in a dorm. I was pushing an empty baby stroller. All the doors in the mall were made of glass, and all the beds that I could see through the glass doors were California King’s with red bedspreads. 

I dissected this dream before my Keurig shut off.

To dream that you can’t find your way home means you’ve lost faith and belief in yourself. It can also signify a major transition, or that you’ve lost direction or sight of your goals. To see glass in a dream symbolizes protection, putting up an invisible barrier to protect yourself. Red is an indication of courage, impulsiveness and passion. Books in a dream… well let’s just say it represents my need to be writing more. An empty baby carriage indicates an unfulfilled goal.

With all of that said, today is New Year’s Eve. That means New Year’s Resolutions, which I’ve never been good at. Every New Year I want things to change drastically that I can’t even imagine what resolutions are required in order to make this dangerous and irrevocable leap.

New Year’s Eve 2014. I am completely lost and frustrated with jobs, relationships, family, goals, cars, traffic, my iPhone 4, variations of the ever-boring plank…

But I’ve decided, just by writing this blog that the first change I am going to make in 2015 is to write more. I will write every day – till my head hurts. I will write until I can’t write anymore, then I’ll write 10 more pages. I won’t care (in the beginning) whether people read what I write, I’m going to write anyway. This will be for me. I will write on all sorts of topics, from how yoga humiliates me to how we are degenerating as a country. Eventually I’ll want to write stories that people care about – like how I saved a life today (just waitin’ on the universe). But right now, this is my first order of business.

The second order, well, to find my way out of the mall. 

Happy New Year, friends! May you all feel the warmth of love and happiness each and every day throughout the new year – especially on cold days.