Make no mistake, I am THAT GIRL

I have a new neighbor, and he's going down!

I live in an apartment. You know what that is, right? It's a building that forces you to not only share square footage, bathroom shower pipes, and the only covered parking space within two miles from your front door with a complete stranger... but with his friends, too. Yeah. An apartment.

I'll admit, I haven't lived in an apartment in more than 20 years, but Jesus H. Christ, I remember how it's done. I know when screaming at Nelson, I need to do it from the closet because the clothes muffle the pitch. I know to disconnect the smoke detectors after 10 PM so if I am burning something in the kitchen, the neighbors don't have to dress and leave their half of the house in fear of fire (they can just burn, but whatever, I'm careful). And I always, always, always close the blinds when a good song comes on - no one needs to see this white girl bump and grind!

My new neighbor, let's call him Jack (as in Jackass, but I don't cuss anymore), loves his music. I just can't figure out what the heck he is doing with it - he plays it for 3 or 4 minutes, shuts it off for a couple more, plays it again for another 3 or 4, shuts it off again, and he does this for hours! It's on, than off, than on. I probably wouldn't care that he never listens to a song all the way through, but it's so loud that my floor vibrates - and I sit on the floor a lot. He does this till his friends come over. Then the door banging begins. And all of this goes on until approximately 3 AM! It is so annoying.

Do you know the restraint it takes to NOT stomp my foot on the floor! It takes a bunch of restraint! I'm always so close, but I never do it. Nelson laughs and tells me it's because I'm not that kind of girl.

Well I am a girl who works out, and this morning was no exception. Even though the floor vibrated until about 2:30 AM, I worked out... in my bedroom... right above Jack's... at 6 AM... sharp.

• shadow boxed for 15 straight minutes - ducking, slipping, pivoting, on my toes, bouncing, breathing, constant moving
• followed with 45 minutes of weights, jump rope and burpees
• feeling energetic so I threw in 100 jumping jacks
• all done to "This Is How We Do It" by Montell Jordan, cranked, on repeat, for an hour. Good song.